In my last article, I explained how to sexually escalate (how to go for the kiss, how to smoothly get her clothes off).
In this article, you’re going to learn how to make sure that your sexual encounters are satisfying not only for you but for the women involved, too.
Let’s dive right in, here’s how to fuck a girl (and give her multiple orgasms):
(The following article is a free excerpt from my upcoming book, Attraction On Demand)
How To Fuck A Girl Well
Now you know how to escalate to sex in a way that is both sexually exciting and respectful. But how do you actually fuck her well?
What you do while fucking a woman is important, but what you do immediately before fucking her is just important. In many cases, you can give a girl an orgasm (or several) simply by fingering her and performing cunnilingus.
Tempo and variety are the two most important aspects of fingering. Start slowly and gently rub her clit (and the surrounding areas) with your fingers, as she gets wetter, intensify the stimulation.
As you do this, pay close attention to how the girl is responding. If simulating a particular area or a specific motion makes her moan louder, arch her back, and/or get even wetter, then do that thing more.
So, try different things and focus on different areas, but whenever something is particularly arousing for her, double down on that and keep doing it until her arousal seems to hit its peak (this could take as little as 15 seconds or as much as a couple of minutes). Make a mental note that she likes that particular type of stimulation (I.E. the area, the movement, the intensity), and make sure to return to it again later.
Once a girl is noticeably wet, you can enter her with your fingers, generally, two fingers are ideal, but you may want to start with one if she’s particularly tight. (As for the best technique when you’re a fingering a girl, I can’t accurately explain it without images, so you can check out this page for a detailed guide: https://www.schoolofsquirt.com/how-to-finger-a-girl/17)
As a general guideline, you’d be surprised by how much force you can use while fingering a girl. Now, if she’s not completely wet, you want to be tame, but if she is, you can gradually build up to use a lot of strength and pressure, the greater the stimulation, the more aroused the girl will become.
When you’re fingering a girl, you should increase the degree of stimulation over time, but you also include some variety. Slow down at some points. Be gentle and intimate for a minute before returning to a more aggressive pace. Predictability can quickly turn into boredom—by repeatedly changing your pace, you can keep the girl excited because she won’t know what to expect.
If you follow the above guidelines, many women will reach the brink of orgasm within minutes.
There are several signs that a girl is about to cum: she will hold your body very tightly, her muscles will become very tense, her breathing will become heavy and stiff, and you will feel a change inside of her. Once you notice this, you should focus on one particular motion and build up the force and pace of that motion until she has an orgasm. If she doesn’t finish, that’s okay, just slow down the pace and reintroduce different motions until you think she’s close to finishing again.
With enough practice, you can give most women orgasms simply by fingering them, and in fact, I’ve had girls tell me I gave them the strongest orgasms of their entire lives before we even had sex. Many people considering fingering something that’s ‘for high schoolers who haven’t had sex yet,’ but it can actually be just as pleasurable as cunnilingus or sex.
Don’t worry about the specific techniques you should use with your tongue. Instead, focus on variety. Try different things: use the tip of your tongue for a while, but then try using the top of it. Try an up and down motion, but then try side-to-side. Compare gentle stimulation to more forceful stimulation. Explore different areas.
Notice how she responds to each variation. Again, if she seems to particularly like something (you should be able to tell), do more of that until her excitement starts to wane.
In general, you want to use variety. But once you think she’s close to orgasm, you want to continuously use one type of stimulation to get her over the edge. Many women can reach orgasm from oral stimulation alone, but it can help to finger her while you’re going down on her, this will help overwhelm her senses to the point that she loses control.
You can tell close by the fact that she’ll get extremely wet, her muscles will start to stiffen, and her breathing will speed up, and she will enter a somewhat animistic, trance-like state. It’s not an exact science (you’ll have to develop your awareness of this through practice) but your intuition will usually be right.
When it comes to actually fucking a woman, the principles you learned in the fingering and cunnilingus sections still hold true. Using variety and gradually building the intensity are both effective for making a girl become increasingly aroused.
As important as variety and pacing are, the biggest difference between boring and amazing sex is dominance.
Dominance and submission are opposites that create a polarity—a powerful magnetic charge.
Now, you don’t necessarily have to be dominant, and the woman doesn’t have to be submissive, but most women won’t play the dominant role in sex (especially during the first encounter), so you’ll be much better off learning how to be dominant in bed rather than submissive.
The more dominant you are, the more a woman will feel like she is able to submit to you, and this will create a powerful sexual charge.
In his book, Why Women Have Sex, Evolutionary psychologist David Buss writes, “Sexual submission is a popular sexual fantasy among women. A study of 141 married women discovered that the fantasy ‘I imagine that I am being overpowered and forced to surrender’ was the second most common fantasy out of the list of fifteen.”
The more you can make a woman feel that you are overwhelmed with a deep-seated desire to dominate her, the better.
What does this look like?
When making out with a girl, you might want to slam her against the wall (obviously gently enough that it doesn’t actually hurt her).
Or, if you’re on the couch with a girl, and things start to get heated, you can pick her up, carry her to the bed, and throw her on the bed before getting on top of her.
Dominance generally means taking the lead and asserting yourself. You want to take on the spirit of a wild animal who is completely lost in the act. Essentially, you are possessed by your desire to have this woman.
Instead of changing positions by meekly asking, “Would you like to get on top of me?” move her where you want her. You can also pull a girl’s hair (grab it from near her head, not from the end of her hair or it will be uncomfortable). You can even pin a girl’s hands down to her side to show her that you have complete control over her body.
Obviously, if you get any signs of discomfort, stop what you’re doing. Generally, though, you will find that women absolutely love to be dominated in bed.
Show Her That You Desire Her
Remember, women desire to be desired. If a woman doesn’t feel sexy, it’s very easy for her to get into a self-conscious state in which sex is barely enjoyable.
The best time to compliment a girl about her beauty is while she’s in bed with you. You already know she likes you at this point, there’s no need to hold back.
Furthermore, complimenting a woman can help her let go of any insecure thoughts she may be having about how she looks. As men we don’t remotely understand how much women are pressured to look a certain way. Even the most beautiful women are often very uncomfortable with being naked around someone.
Compliments and expressing your desire will help combat any feelings of discomfort. For example, when you’re in bed with a girl you might say:
- “Your body is amazing.”
- “You look so sexy.”
- “You really turn me on.”
- “I want you so badly right now.”
You can come up with your own lines, what matters is that you let her know how attractive she is and how much you want her.
You can use dirty talk during sex if you want. It can be fun, but it’s certainly not necessary for mind-blowing sex.
Talking after sex, though, is essential.
Candidly discussing sex with a girl will help make her more comfortable with her sexuality. Many women have insecurities about sex—having a real conversation about it can help a girl let go of those insecurities when she’s with you.
Furthermore, discussing sex can help you understand what she likes so that you can give her more of it.
When talking about sex, it’s important that you don’t sound insecure. Questions like, “Did you like that?” or, “Was that good for you?” are counterproductive because they make you sound unsure of yourself.
Sounding insecure is in itself a turn-off. Plus, she may not give you honest answers to such questions (because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings).
Frame questions positively. Instead of asking, “Did you like that?” Ask, “What did you like most about that?” Instead of asking, “Did you orgasm?” ask, “What was the strongest orgasm you ever had, and what caused it?”
Ask about what she likes, what she wants more of, and definitely ask her what sexual fantasies she has. You may not be able to help her live out her exact fantasy, but you might be able to do something similar.
For example, if the theme of her fantasy is being dominated, you can use that knowledge as an indication that you should use more dominance. If her fantasy involves being dominant, you could give her an opportunity to live that fantasy out, too.
Get creative with how you discuss sex. The above should give you some starting points, but the conversation should be organic, not completely scripted.
Being good in bed is an integral part of success with women, yet it rarely gets talked about. When I first learned how to pick girls up, I didn’t focus any attention on this area and I had some pretty awkward sexual encounters. One time I was so hesitant in bed with a girl that she said, “Is this amateur hour?”
Fortunately, sex is a skill you can master. Years ago, I decided to read books about how to be good in bed and I experimented with a variety of different strategies. It took a while, but eventually I was able to give most women multiple orgasms the first time we slept together. And this not only made the whole process of game more rewarding, but it also meant that if I wanted to see a particular girl again or I wanted to make her my girlfriend, I could easily make that happen.
Fortunately, the principles of good sex you learned in this chapter are simple to implement, you don’t need to learn fancy techniques, you simply need to be dominant, escalate gradually, and to pay close attention to what a woman is responding well too (so you can give her more of it).
Learning to be good in bed is actually much easier than learning how to get women into bed with you.
Now, if you’re inexperienced and concerned about not satisfying the women you sleep with, I recommend that you make a point to give more than you take. In most cases, bad sex is bad because the man didn’t put in enough time towards pleasuring the woman (or vice versa). To combat this, be particularly generous with foreplay so that even if the actual sex is somewhat lackluster, she will be pleased with the overall encounter.