Famed evolutionary psychologist David Buss writes, “In one study, forty-eight women and men came to a lab and were asked to stare into each other’s eyes while talking. The effect of mutual gaze proved powerful. Many reported that deep eye contact with an opposite-sex stranger created feelings of intense love.
Another study had strangers first reveal intimate details of their lives to each other for half an hour, and then asked them to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes—without breaking eye contact or making any conversation. Participants again reported deep attraction to their study partners. Two of these total strangers even ended up getting married!”
–Why Women Have Sex.
When I first read the above passage, I decided to experiment with eye contact in my own life.
The results were unbelievable. Women started responding to my gaze with comments like,
- “Wow, I haven’t felt butterflies like that in years.”
- “You and I shouldn’t be left in a room together.”
- “Let’s go back to my place.”
I wasn’t doing anything magical; I simply practiced holding strong eye contact.
This may be hard to believe, but you can literally turn women on by making small changes to the way you hold eye contact.
There are two critical elements to making your gaze seductive: duration and intensity.
If you constantly look away from a girl while talking to her, you will seem insecure.
In contrast, if you hold eye contact for too long, you will make women uncomfortable.
However, if you hold strong eye contact without staring, you will come across as extremely confident.
Here’s a simple rule of thumb to strike the right balance: hold slightly stronger eye contact than the girl you’re talking to.
When you do this, you ensure that the girl won’t feel overwhelmed but that she is still emotionally reacting to you.
If you look away too often, it makes you seem reactive. In seduction, being reactive is the feminine role.
Think of it this way: the man approaches—the woman reacts. The man leans in for the kiss—the woman reacts. The man pulls out his… you get the idea.
Whenever you do something that seems reactive, the woman feels like you are submitting to her. Unless she’s a dominatrix, this is a huge turn-off.
But if she’s reacting to your eye contact, she is being submissive.
And although it may be politically incorrect to mention this, submission is the most ubiquitous sexual fantasy among women (50 Shades of Grey was the best-selling book of the last decade for a reason).
Of course, if your eye contact is too strong, you’ll seem intimidating. That’s why it’s crucial to pay attention to how often the girl is looking away and to make sure you’re only holding eye contact slightly longer than she is.
The eyes act as a conduit for emotions.
If you see fear in someone’s eyes, you will feel fear. If you see confidence in someone’s eyes, you will feel confident.
And most importantly, if you see desire in someone’s eyes, you will feel desire.
When I’m meeting a woman’s gaze, there is a clear sexual intent in my eyes—I feel it, she feels it.
I’m literally thinking, “I want you.” as I hold eye contact. This feeling of desire transfers from me to her.
Here are a few examples of things you could think while looking into a woman’s eyes:
- “You’re so sexy.”
- “You’re beautiful.”
- “You have an amazing body.”
- “I want to fuck you.”
Allow yourself to feel the emotion behind the words going through your mind.
The goal is to get caught up in a sexual trance. You’ll know you’re doing this correctly when you start to feel turned on.
Another technique you can use is to let erotic imagery run through your mind while you hold eye contact.
As you look at a girl you find attractive, imagine what it would be like to have her on top of you. You can also visualize her giving you a blowjob or think of what it would be like to rip her clothes off. The key is to get yourself into a sexual state because that is what sparks the feeling of desire.
If you implement this one technique, your dating life will never be the same. Women will react to you in ways you previously thought were impossible.
This is so powerful because it’s subtle. You’re not saying anything sexual—doing that risks making the girl uncomfortable. Instead, you are transferring the feeling of desire on a primal, subconscious level. She can’t blame you for coming on too strong because she doesn’t know why there’s so much sexual tension.
Sexual eye contact is an aphrodisiac; it’s the one adjustment you can make to your game that will have the biggest impact (in terms of creating attraction).
Implementing This In Your Life
Okay, we’ve explained why eye contact is so important and what makes it attractive or not. But how do you actually bring this from the theoretical into your actual life?
The best way is to make a point to practice holding strong, sexually charged eye contact until it becomes effortless for you.
Of course, that’s easier said than done, most people who read about a technique forget about it in less than an hour.
That’s why my Mentorship Program dedicates an entire week to mastering seductive eye contact. It has a structured guide that will ensure your eye contact exudes confidence and sexual magnetism. You can learn more about the program here: Mentorship.
Eye contact is easy to overlook because it’s so basic—there’s nothing flashy or exciting about learning how to hold strong eye contact with a girl.
Yet, eye contact can have a hypnotic effect. When done right, you can make a woman fall into a sexual trance just by looking at her in the right way.
It’s easy to ignore the fundamentals of pickup, but they will lead to most of your success.
The way you hold eye contact can make the difference between women seeing you as a dork with no sex appeal and making girls feel butterflies in their stomach.
If you found this to be useful and you want personalized guidance for attracting beautiful women in your own life, sign up for a free consultation call, here.