Despite its advantages, direct game has one important drawback: it gives away some of your power.
Being direct is like revealing your hand in poker. As soon as you tell a girl you’re attracted to her, she knows that you want her. Now she gets to decide whether to let you have what you want.
At the highest level, game is about getting women to actively pursue you – to chase you. But when you use direct game, you are implicitly chasing after the girl.
When you’re chasing after a girl, the dynamic is roughly equivalent to that of a kiosk salesman trying to sell his wares to strangers passing by.
When a girl is chasing you, the dynamic is roughly equivalent to that of a woman going to pick up her favorite author’s newest book.
The kiosk salesmen will convince some people to buy from him, but he will get rejected far more often than not.
The girl buying her favorite author’s new book is going to get the book no matter what. She has already consciously decided she wants it.
People are infinitely more bought into their own ideas than the ideas that someone tries to force onto them. Indirect game is powerful because you’re giving the girl the opportunity to realize that she wants you: getting with you becomes her idea, not yours.
To be fair, the dynamic between who’s chasing and who’s being chased can change throughout an interaction. Teasing a girl, disqualifying her, or letting her emotionally invest in you can shift the roles of pursuer and pursued.
However, your opener does establish the initial frame – are you trying to convince her to like you? Or are you approaching her to determine whether or not she’s good enough for you?
The ideal indirect opener is one that makes it clear you’re interested in the girl without giving away your power. That’s why my favorite opener is as follows,
“Hey, I like your style. I had to introduce myself to see if you’re as cool as you look.”
This conversation starter accomplishes a few things:
- It’s clear that I want to meet her because I’m intrigued by her. However, I’m not implying my interest in her is sexual. Therefore, I’m not chasing after her.
- This line is technically a compliment, and women are generally going to be more likely to want to engage with you if you start your conversation on a positive note.
- This opener isn’t just a compliment, it’s also a challenge. I’m telling the girl that she’s made a good first impression, but I need more convincing. This challenge incentivizes the girl to start chasing me.
The Problem With Indirect Game
Using indirect game is an advanced strategy that can help you get more consistent results, but not until you’re already doing well with direct game.
If you practice using indirect game before you’re comfortable with going direct and leading things as far towards sex as possible, then you’ll miss countless opportunities.
Indirect game is only a useful tool when you’re already getting fairly consistent results (meaning getting dates and sex). At that point, you can use indirect game to take your results to the next level.
But if you’re not getting laid at all from game then you should start by learning to go direct so that you can start getting real results as soon as possible.
This article originally appears on: https://redpilltheory.com/2018/12/14/is-indirect-game-the-best-way-to-attract-women/
Why the new website?
My choice of website name “Red Pill Theory” coincidentally bears resemblance to the online “Red Pill Community,” and although I write about similar topics to that community, I do not want it to seem that I am an official voice of “The Red Pill.” For more of my thoughts about the Red Pill Community, see this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc7ac2rApAI