A lot of guys don’t want to use scripted lines or techniques when interacting with women because they don’t want to come across as fake.
It’s true that the first time you try using a canned line, it is going to be uncomfortable, and possibly even awkward. But that’s not always because the line is inauthentic to you.
Think of the protagonist in your favorite movie. Does Marlon Brando seem inauthentic when he’s portraying Vito Corleone? Does Brad Pitt seem inauthentic portraying Tyler Durden in Fight Club?
Of course not.
Actors learn to completely transform their personality, and they do so without sacrificing authenticity. We are told that trying to change ourselves makes us ‘fake,’ but this is misleading. Realness isn’t about what you do or say, it’s about how you feel about what you’re doing and saying.
Anything you do to expand your personality is going to make you feel uncomfortable at first. For instance, the first time you approach a girl in a bar you will experience stress. And that stress can make you feel like you’re doing something inauthentic to your personality. (Maybe you’re too shy for cold approach or perhaps you’re an introvert who should avoid bars.)
Is approaching women ‘unnatural’ to anyone’s personality? Of course not, approaching women is only uncomfortable because it’s outside your comfort zone.
Truthfully, anything you do that requires conscious effort will come across as inauthentic. Whether you’re learning how to hold strong eye contact, how to use physical touch in your interactions with women, or how to change the tonality of your voice, you can expect it to come across as a bit forced at first.
This creates a frustrating paradox: if you try to change your personality, you will come across as inauthentic, and therefore, unattractive. But if you don’t try to change your personality, you will be unable to improve yourself or your results.
The solution to this paradox is to understand that you can change your personality, but you’ll get worse before you get better. Accept that although discomfort sucks, it is an intrinsic part of growth.
When you try to tease a girl for the first time, it might come across as inauthentic. But that’s only because you’re not comfortable with teasing women. If you continue practicing despite the initial awkwardness, you’ll eventually be able to consistently use teasing to make women burst into laughter.
It’s not a particular line or behavior that makes you seem ‘fake’, it’s the discomfort you experience when using the technique – with practice, anything can become authentic to your personality.
Natural Game Vs. Scripted Game (Which Is Better?)
Using scripted techniques allows you to try things you would never have attempted otherwise.
For instance, a lot of men believe that women get creeped out when a guy directly states his sexual interest. If someone who holds this belief were to try using a direct opener like,“Hey I thought you were cute and I had to say hi,” he would discover that – contrary to what he previously thought – women often respond very positively to a direct compliment.
Therefore, simply practicing a scripted direct opener could fundamentally expand your understanding of female psychology and change the way you interact with women for the rest of your life.
Similarly, let’s say you were to use a scripted line to tease women. For instance, when a girl tells you she’s from Ohio, you might tease her by replying, “You would be from Ohio.” With enough practice, using this line would show you that, counterintuitivey, saying something that’s mean on a surface level can actually make women respond in a very positive way.
There are a variety of different emotions you can tap into when interacting with a girl, but by default, most of us only hit on a few of those emotions. We might be comfortable with being friendly and agreeable, but we’re not comfortable with being dominant or sexual (or vice versa).
Scripted techniques act as training wheels so you can create an emotional impact you otherwise wouldn’t be able to. Then, once you realize that women respond positively to something like teasing or a direct compliment, through practice, you’ll get a feel for the underlying principle behind the technique – and you’ll be able to come up with your own ways of hitting that same emotional note.
Learning game this way is an example of the learning model that starts with unconscious incompetence. At first, we don’t even know that something like teasing, showing direct interest, or holding strong eye contact can attract women (I.E. we are unconscious of our own incompetence.)
Then, we become consciously incompetent: we have learned that a particular technique can help us attract women, but our attempts at using it are awkward and somewhat ineffective.
Third, we reach a point of conscious competence: now we can use the technique and get good results(I.E. teasing) but it requires effort to do so.
Finally, we reach unconscious competence: we are able to tease a girl or hold strong eye contact or come up with witty lines without any conscious effort – it flows through us spontaneously (like when our muscle memory takes over in a sport).
At this point, I don’t use many scripted lines or techniques when I approach women, but that’s only because I practiced using ‘scripted game’ tactics until I was comfortable enough with them that I could naturally create the same emotional impact without needing a specific technique.
Natural Game Vs. Scripted Game (Which Is Better?)
Part 3: When Scripted Game Backfires
Although learning scripted techniques has its advantages, it is important to be aware that it can be overdone. If your entire interactions with women become nothing more than a rendition of a script, you’ll likely come across as robotic: women will sense there’s something ‘off’ about the way you interact with them.
However, if you never try doing things that are ‘unnatural’ to you, you won’t change, and therefore, your results won’t change.
Your conversations with women should mostly flow naturally, but it can be useful to learn a technique to work on a specific sticking point that you have.
For example, you might notice that your interactions are too friendly without much sexual tension. In this case, learning techniques that will add sexual energy to your interactions can be useful.
Alternatively, you might notice that you’re good at attracting women, but you never actually bring them home with you. Thus, learning a specific strategy for pulling you can overcome this roadblock.
Ultimately, the idea of ‘natural game’ is meaningless: you cannot improve your game without doing things that are unnatural to your current personality. What makes you authentic is your degree of comfort with what you’re doing, and yes, many of the behaviors that women find attractive will be inauthentic to you when you first try them, but through practice, anything can become natural to you.
PS: Here are a few examples of specific techniques you can learn to get better results in game:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/24368162 (In this premium infield compilation you will see examples of me approaching women both indirectly and indirectly.)
Holding Strong Eye contact:
Changing Your Vocal tonality:
Seeding The Pull:
This article originally appears on: https://redpilltheory.com/2019/04/12/natural-game-vs-scripted-game-which-is-better/
Why the new website?
My choice of website name “Red Pill Theory” coincidentally bears resemblance to the online “Red Pill Community,” and although I write about similar topics to that community, I do not want it to seem that I am an official voice of “The Red Pill.” For more of my thoughts about the Red Pill Community, see this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc7ac2rApAI